Wednesday 10 October 2012

Drinking game: Pim & Pum

    Most of these stories happenned when the interveners were drunk, and we don’t get in that state randomly... Or do we?

    We play many games to get ourselves drunk, using cards, coins, dice, or nothing! We’ll be posting a couple of games we think is fun, starting from our favorite game: Pim & Pum.

    This is an easy game but requires a lot of practice not to fail. The premise is simple: you sit in a circle and, starting with the number 1, each person must say the successor of the previous number.

    But, here’s the catch: every number that is a multiple of 3, or contains the number 3, must be substituted with Pim or Pum:

    Pim:
game continues normally
    Pum: inverts the direction

    Everytime you fail, you drink and start over. For example, playing the game with 4 persons:

    Person 1: one
    Person 2:
two
    Person 3: pim (3 is multiple of 3, continues normally)
    Person 4: four
    Person 1: five
    Person 2: pum (6 is multiple of 3, inverts direction)
    Person 1: seven
    Person 4: eight
    Person 3: pim (9 is multiple of 3, continues normally)
    Person 2: ten
    Person 1: eleven
    Person 4: pum (12 is multiple of 3, inverts order)
    Person 1: pum (13 contains the number 3, inverts order)
    Person 4: fourteen

    … and so on...

    If at any moment a person says the wrong number, or takes too long to answer, he or she drinks, and the game starts over. The person who lost starts the game, in the same direction that the game was going when the person has lost.

Sunday 7 October 2012

Let the festival begin

    This happened in the Summer, at a festival. It was the first day, and things were going pretty well, but something was missing: cold beer. So, we bought a 24-pack of beer and went to a park to drink it. Between drinking some beers and the wine that we brought to the festival, a guy starts talking to us with a mic in his hand, saying he’s from the local radio station and starts asking us questions about the festival. We were a little bit wasted so we couldn't help but laugh and say really stupid things to this reporter. He eventually went away when he saw that we weren’t in our normal state of mind.

    Later we decided to go dinner at the local MacDonald's, and I was the designated driver, as I was the only one with the car who could fit us all.

    It’s fair to say that I felt like I was in my first driving lesson, zig zagging, driving in the wrong lane, making turns I couldn’t make... Actually, I was thinking that it was being funny, until we crossed with a police car. Fortunately, they didn't notice I was driving like crazy.

    When we reached MacDonald's I even drove the front right tire into the curb, lifting the car just a little, but we were so drunk we thought we were going to die.

    Nothing bad happened to us nor with the car, and we went on to have a great time. But, that drive taught me a valuable lesson: never drink and drive. And so we went back to the festival precinct by foot, returning to MacDonald's the morning after to pick up my car.



Saturday 6 October 2012

Rock bottom

    One day I was invited to the birthday of two friends of mine, which was gonna take place in the usual place.

    As I got there, I realized that my friends, who were already slightly drunk, had already drunk a bottle of red wine each one. Besides that, they were always cheering to everyone! And I lost the count on how much bottles we drank during the rest of the dinner...

    When we left the restaurant one of my colleagues decided to go home because he couldn’t stand up anymore, but the others wanted to party!

    Well, this colleague I just told you about woke up in the middle of the night with a huge need to poop. He was still completely wasted and didn’t even thought about simple things like toilet paper. I mean… He just realized he had no paper when he was finished.

    But he had a brilliant idea!! He cleaned his ass to the towel that was in the bath. And by the way: it was from his roommate, who later came home and noticed a huge amount of shit in his towel...



Mr. Blackout

    It was a regular dinner night at a friend’s apartment. We bought about ten liters of wine and started drinking while we were having dinner. About two and a half hours later, those ten liters of wine were gone, and we were pretty wasted so we decided that it was time to go to the academic bar.

    The first thing I did when I got inside was go to the bathroom and vomit in order to enjoy the rest of the evening, but after I left the bathroom I went to get a beer...

    After that, I went to the dance floor and started doing what I thought at that time to be x-outing. Even today, one year later, people mock at me because of how silly I looked dancing x-outing. Meanwhile, my friends kept giving me beer for me to finish and before I noticed I got really wasted again, I was already talking to random girls to see if I got some action going, but with no luck. While we were returning home, my friends started running for some reason that I still don't understand and I started to run as well, so I wouldn't be left behind. But while I was running, I started to lean my head lower and lower and after some time running I dived head first on the floor, not moving for a while, and my friends had to bring me home picking me up on their shoulders.

    In the morning I woke up normally but when I started stretching my arms, I felt a sharp pain and noticed I had a big bruise on my left arm and I didn't remember why, so I asked them and they told me the whole story, while laughing like crazy people. I couldn't remember anything they told me...


Friday 5 October 2012

Prison Break

    So we went to a club out of town, we drank, we partied and we got bored. We decided to go home. However, one of our friends was well accompanied and most likely wasn’t going to leave with us. So we took off and went to crash at a friend’s place nearby.

    It seems that, not long after we fell asleep, our friend decided to go home too. But he didn’t have enough money to pay his drink card. He tried to call us, but we were all fast asleep.

    This club is indoor/outdoor in the middle of the woods, and according to his logical drunk mind, he would be able to jump over a 10 feet wall, and disappear in the forest.

    He tried to go for it. He jumped but couldn’t reach the top. So he gets a small basket, turns it upside down and tries again. This time he succeeds! He tries to climb but he suddenly felt his leg heavy. Turning his head, he noticed a security guard holding him.

    This friend of ours, when he gets drunk, he gets really ballsy and funny. So his first reaction was to laugh. Apparently the security guard threatened our friend and he was taken to the head of security.

    In our friend’s mind, he thought he would be able to sneak his way out using logical shenanigans...

    Friend: “Aren’t you tired?”
    Security guard “Well yeah, of course!”
    Friend: “Wouldn’t you like to go home?”
    Security guard: “Yes”
    Friend: “Well... I’m tired too and I want to go home!”

    Our friend ended up calling one of us again and this time we answer. We went to get him but we couldn’t return to the house because he was so on fire, he wouldn’t shut up about his amazing night and would end up waking everyone up.


Thursday 4 October 2012

The forgotten night

    This story that I'm gonna tell you is a mix of conversations about a night that me and my friends went out.

    I only remember the last part of this story, but it’s kinda like this: It was a regular night out with my friends, and we started drinking at 10.30 PM. Beers, vodka, whisky, a couple of shots, more beer, more whisky, more shots.

    Now this part of the story is the part that my friends told me, because I don’t remember anything! What they told me was that we went to the club, took us like one hour and half to travel a distance that we can easily do in 20 minutes, obviously already wasted like hell, but we managed to get into the club.

    After an hour there I started talking to a girl which I didn't know if was drunk or not. We talked for a while, we danced, we danced much closer to each other, and suddenly she starts rubbing her whole body in me, obviously looking for something. After that, we kissed. We made out a little, and according to my friends, I went with her to her place.

    Now the part I remember: I woke up at 5.30 AM, in her bed with her, asking myself: “What the hell happened?”. Then she woke up too, saying that that night had been wonderful, including the details. I said I had to go home with my friends, she walked me to her door, and we said goodbye to each other. But my route was very different from what I told her, because I called my friends, they told me they were in a disco, and I went there to keep partying...


Wednesday 3 October 2012

Adventures of Mr. Stupid

    This is not much of a story, it's more like a journey. It started when I went to a party at a friend's house. While I was at this party, sometimes I went to the bars nearby to hand out invitations to people that were going to a club (I’m kind of a public relations guy), which I was also going. My friends later told me that I handed A LOT of invitations although I only remember hanging out a couple, probably my drunk self just wanted to meet girls, and that happens a lot.

    So, later, me and my friends regrouped to go to the aforementioned club. Some went by car, others by bus, but I decided to walk... Alone! I don't really remember the trip, just sitting on the stairs near a big building, thinking I was lost, although I'd been there before a lot of times, and I was about 200-300 meters from the club. So I called a friend and explained to him that I was lost. After a lot of talking and yelling, he realized where I was and came to get me.

    When he arrived I was sleeping and snoring, but he woke me up. It took some time for me to get up because I couldn't stand up straight, but somehow I regained the knowledge of laws of physics and was able to walk.

    About one hour after I left the party, I arrived to the club. What happens next? The bouncer wouldn't let me in. Can you believe that? He was denying entrance to the #1 PR from that club, and later told my boss that it was because I was looking at him like I wanted to fight him when he asked for my invitation. Fortunately, the supervisor told him to let me in, and finally I was inside the club, completely wasted. So what do I do? I grabbed a girl I had previously made out with, and had no intentions of doing that again, and I started kissing her. We were both completely wasted, so we looked like “those” two that are eating each other faces off. She was very unattractive and fat, and my friends mocked at me for a whole week the first time I made out with her... Still, my drunk self decided to go for it... Once again, I was saved by a friend that pushed me away from the fat lady...

    After thinking I lost my card and other drunken stupidities, I left the club. Before I got home, two guys started messing with a couple of friends of mine. I wanted to peace things out but my friends, thinking I was drunk, grabbed me. So, I yelled at them to let me go. But the troublemakers thought I was trying to fight them, so they started to mess with me too. The problem was resolved when a friend of this two guys pushed them away from us. Finally I arrived home... I entered it, then entered my room, threw myself to the bed with the last strength I had left, and slept.




Tuesday 2 October 2012

Where did he go?

    A couple of years ago, we went to commemorate Carnival out of town. We grabbed our costumes, food and, of course, our drinks, and jumped on a train... One of the greatest nights of our lives was just starting...

    Halfway through the night, one of our friends was bored and decided to go home. We said goodbye and he took off.

    The rest of the night went pretty well, we stayed the entire night at the same place and we were the center of attention, as the party revolved around us.

    At the break of dawn, we went back to the train station and we took the train. Due to the confusion, our group got separated and I was in a different part of the train with one my friends, who was pretty drunk.

    At the next train station we tried to make a run for it to get in the same compartment as the rest of our group. But as soon as we jumped off the train, my friend fell down, tumbled down the floor and was going to fall, head first, down the tracks on the other side. I had to throw myself over his legs to prevent him from falling down.

    During all of this I was worried that the train would take off without us, but I noticed the driver was watching us, and was waiting.

    So we got up, started running, and we finally got near our friends.

    The rest of the trip went well. We were almost back home when our friend that left earlier calls us, asking where we were, and that he had woken up, without his costume, at the berm of a highway entrance... The obvious question was:


Monday 1 October 2012

A wild african girl appears...

Guy #1 perspective
    One night I went to the academic bar with some friends, and we were all very drunk. I walked around the bar, watching the girls, and started dancing and establishing eye contact with them. A few minutes later, I realized that two african girls were dancing near me... I saw an opportunity of getting an african sexy dance (like the one described in the previous post) and looked to a friend of mine who was near me, who understood my intentions. We started dancing with them. For some reason, my friend left me alone, and after a few minutes of dancing and flirting, one of the girls made a move on me... She asked a few questions (she wasn't pretty, but those tits couldn't stop staring at me) and we started dancing... It was good, but it wasn't the kind of dance I was expecting... I thought that maybe she was shy, and started thinking how I could get the dance that I wanted, when she told me that she wanted to meet my friend... I felt like a microwave, but I lol'd and I went talking with my friend, told him to talk to the girl, and in less than 2/3 minutes they were making out... At the end of the night, his comment was "I still don't like african girls"... Course he doesn't, he probably wanted to bang her, but had to settle with a few kisses :D

Guy #2 perspective
    One night I went with a couple of friends to a famous bar. I got there and decided to introduce a couple of girls to a guy I know. Now let me tell you something about myself: I’m a little racist. But because I was wasted, I decided to chat a little with two african girls and later I introduced them to the guy I was telling you about. Some time later, he was dancing with them, and next thing I know he’s telling me that one of the girls asked for me, so I went there, she grabs me and starts dancing with me. I ended up making out with her, an african chick, and I’m racist! I ended up going home with my principles crushed but a little happy that I scored...

Moral of the story
    Two drunk guys looking to score always have different perceptions of the night...


Can't touch this

    A few years ago, I went to a disco with some freshmen. As soon as we get in, I saw two friends of mine dancing with a couple of african girls... And that dance was simply amazing! The girls lowered their bodies, and were rubbing their backs all around my friends... I almost had an erection just by looking at it... I told a freshmen that I wanted to meet an african girl, and 2/3 minutes later he came back with all of them! It’s so good to have freshmen nearby :D

    None of them were really pretty, but one of them really attracted me. She was very hot, and not ugly at all... I stared a little bit at her, and she came to me, started dancing with me, and in less than 30 seconds she was rubbing her back on my penis... I tried to dance with her, to move with her, but when I was hard I couldn't hold on, and touched her back on the sides... As soon as she felt my hands on her back, she stopped dancing, turned around and told me with that freak african accent: "The dance is over"

    Dude, I stood all alone in the dance floor, with a huge hard-on, and very, very pissed off... But after 5 seconds, I laughed so loud that I think I even cried...